michelle

the pointed skates moved like a slow shimmering light over the frosted ice naming an obituary the thin legs of the child star, canada's sweetheart, clara evans came to the fore and she uses past noticing, she was bright shoe polish and spats with gilbert ringlets, someone's dear little girl, someone who looked like a child, someone spit and polish, someone who moved on in dance...
she was isolated, she was adored, she was shining, she was mobbed, she was glowing spectacular bright, she was someone's sweetheart, she was someone's glowing dream, there were roses at her feet, her charlie chaplin dance, the girl in spats; the girl in hose, the girl adored, the girl with a misery, the girl into the centre, spats on the girl with the tophat, the red vest and cane, the marionette on skids, she had to get on in dancing somehow, the dear little girl with the dear little curls, the very dear little girl with a dear little curl in the middle of her forehead, the dream coming true, the child star and then she moved on, she found other options for her time, her dime, her time in the sun, her dancing without exception, her curse was the worst, the girl had moved on to strip clubs, the girl dancing at the zanzibar, topless now and then she was gone, a true varsity dream, and someone and she was noticed, looked at, stared at, noticed, pointed at, a thin glowing dream, was she upstairs at the palace, the ice queen gone and what was the pause for applause, the tin vanished, noticing and all her charms and what went on upstairs at the danceroom, the island palace and what went on without, noticing and what went on without crying, what went on without discriminating, what went on as perfectly legal in canada, only except it never did, it never did notice anything but the rcmp, and the state of ontario in canada and lockup side and wheat went on without masturbation or nothing or something, the lapdancing, the coy lease still the same and what went on without noticing and what went on in the nave, the leering topless bars and what went on without noticing and the smiling leering at pleasure, the fat lipped men the george grosz beards and what went on without shoe polish, without skate polishing and what went on without beards and what went on in the topless bars and now nuanced slow and lively, shapely ...
and she was a deer bright, a fawn upon a hill, and someone noticed her and took his aim and there was no one after or before and what went on without noticing, the stethescope, the thermometer, the pulse taped, the thermometer and what went on before and after the pulse taped...
the jeering bow out on the streets, everyone's little girl, and what went on and what went on again...
she came out and she said a little bit getting a bit sweet, like a little wine and a little pepperoni, cal said you had to take on sin sometimes so he did, that was his kadampa buddhist priest talking, killer with the exceptional heart, his face frame moving and what was to be done, well he was already working the trade so she was easy to fit in ...
it was convenient to ship her to toronto and then to kingston and one step down after another and another into colder water until the shock hit home, and michelle crying, she sounded impossible, just impossible and what was to be done well nothing and she said the cops came to see her after he was done, he had tried to commit suicide in the plaza, he was exceptionally gone and she said he had tried to cut himself up with a razorblade into tinier and tinier pieces until he was gone and he was dead and he was in tiny pieces down the drain oh my god so exceptionally insane, oh my god he was cut into pieces, my god his whole body it was insane, I was insane, I was standing there crying, oh my god, he called the cops, he called the cops on me, he said I did it, he siad he loved me, he said I did it, I did it, I did it to him, I did it to him, I did it to him, steve, I did it to you, my love dont you see, I did it for you, steve, steve... steve I wanted to marry you I wanted to love you, I wanted to marry you, to have your babies and I wanted to love you and to have your children and your babies and I loved you so much, I wanted to have your babies, oh steve listen to me, can't you, can't you see, I'm exceptionally upset, I'm insane, steve, I wanted to love you, I wanted to love you, to know you, to bear, to carry your babies and so much and I need you, I --
and then she burst out crying and went down the hall and I left. and that was all.
there was a tanning salon I was offered to try and that was all.
at this point andy and I discussed the whole suntanning trade and how hot it was and sassy it was and andy said after a while it gets stick and exceptionally hot I am not somehow to talk about anything at all, apparently but how exceptionally attracted I am to you, and what feeling I have to you at this moment, well, he said looking exceptionally down and exceptionally up, would you be attracted to me tonight, and I laughed and told him no.
I actually said no --
and he said, he had to run --
and I leapt out of the window and ran. there were long interminable discussions after that about michelle and the skin trade and fashion.
she wears barettes. I like that, he said. she's in the fashion district, and all, why don't you do that. its latin, it's in the skin trade, you've seen 91/2 inches and all bruce la bruce and I laughed
and still, well -- and that was in the younger district days, the earlier fashion days --
and scene disco was fashion that's all, and elise said you should do it with me and that's all.
and I said, well, that's highly exceptional, andy.
and he said well, why don't you do it, with me then, and he said to me, and I said well --
and he said hmm, and I puled myself up, looked at the coffee and the no -- said sharply and stared at the confession at 5 minutes and close. it took 15, 171/2 with pulling up chairs
she's into the fashion trade he said afterwards, she took the dunk. aren't you interested in it? steve took the dunk aren't you interested in that? you should be. you pleasure with profit, you're droll.
I said nothing.
I said andy and hmmm.
he said, well, don't you look exceptionally interested? sorry, nadine said you should be. you're interested, right? charles said you wold be. you're into the trade. she said you love and shine and you would be.
I looked at him. I said no, andy. in skin training no no.
well, he said and looked down again.
steve said you had taken the dunk. are you, are you proseletising. you practice what you preach, don't you? love, exceptional and all that.
no. stop it andy. stop it now. I said in exceptional dog training voice. I'm not going out with you if you do that.